hindsight.....

Was laying in bed this morning wonering what we will think of this time of dr's appionments and operations for Deni. Will we think yeh we did it it's over and I won't change a thing. Or it's still going, will it ever end. Or it's over for now I wish I had know ......... before this all started. People say hindsight is a wonderfulll thing, but is it? I wonder if we will come out stronger for this or weaker and exhausted. Will we ever be able to talk about it freely without wondering what the other person will think if we say what we feel, will we be able to talk about it without that lump in my front threatening tears at any moment. Will we one day look at Deni and not see the wrong shape of his head and just see him for him. Will he be the same or will he be different? Will this end or is this a life long journey? Will his children have cranio? Will he be scarred from this? Will he have a fear of medical tests and operations? Will he be ok? How will our other children feel about this time in our lives? Will they feel that they were left out or abdnoned throughout this? Will they wonder why their family, their brother? Will they have a fear of any thing medical? Will their children have cranio? My son Terry said to me the other day "I feel so sad when ever I look at Denver, it's not fair. I don't know why I feel so sad, I suppose it's because I love him so much." I think it's fair to say that this time in our lived will have a lasting effect on all of us.