I am reliving it. From start to finish. The worry, the talking and no one hearing me, the failure I feel about this, knowing I can't protect my son. Tomorrow we go to the surgeon. He has had 8 infections in his scar. 5 in one spot, 2 in another and then one other spot. The one he has now looks nasty and is getting sore. Iknow the trauma of going back there will resurface for him and for me. I sit here in bed at midnight and I can feel the tension in the house, the air, each other and in me. I am scared and feel so very alone. I want to curl up in a ball and sleep. It's just Deni and me tomorrow. I will be strong tomorrow, I will have the best five year old holding my hand as we go up elevators, down corridors and into rooms.
Pray for Deni and pray for me cause I don't want to feel alone.
Angy, you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I can imagine what it's like to 'go down the corridors' again and have things resurface. Please don't be scared or alone. If it helps I'm hear to listen when you need it. Don't worry about my crap, I'm getting better! - and I'm here and I want to help you. Love Deb xx
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