back in hospital

As you know last week we were off to see the surgeon for the part of Denver's scar that keeps getting infected.
It was like groundhog day. Your surgeon not here you will have to see someone else in a different clinic and he is now fully double booked. Great, seeing someone new always means explaining the whole story again. But he was lovely even after a long weight. I was so happy that there was still infection present (i hate it when you take your kid to the Dr and the suddenly get better). It was just a crusty puss bubble now. He had a good look and said that antibiotics were an option but that since it was a contained infection and he appeared so well that we would leave that for now. He said that he would put us on the surgery list to have the infected part of the scar removed and to try and find what was the course of all the infections. He was not urgent so didn't need to be done in the next two weeks but he would like him done in the next two months. And we left and i was happy, I was heard, he talked to me about the options and the reason behind every thing and he understood my concern and frustration at all these infections. So I left happy in the knowledge that something would be done and maybe this could finally be put towards the middle of my head instead of at the fore front.
Fast forward one hour.
I am sitting in a shopping car park crying my eyes out. Now i don't usually ever cry it is just not me. I always say i wish i could cry more and here i was getting my wish balling my eyes out. This is only the third time that i have cried about this cranio shit, i don't know why it hit me so hard or why today was the day but it was and the tears were fast and free flowing.

It is with disappointment and sadness that i

let you all know that Denver will be facing his

 third surgery for the year. they hope to operate

in the next two months to remove the infected

part of his scar.  they don't know what the

surgery will entail until they get in there and

see what is causing the infection.

love Angy

That was the message that i sen tout letting everyone know what was happening and how the appointment went.

That day i couldn't shake my deep deep sadness. It was just there. It was heavy, so heavy. it was a weight deep inside. it was dragging me down, but i had to go with it and let it do what it had to do.

Crying is such exhausting work, i felt like i had been hit by a bus.

There was a great disappointment within me that people choose not to respond or acknowledge my message. I felt i needed their support and acknowledge meant of what was happening, sometimes that's all that is needed. as people we often don't know what to say but to say nothing at all can be worse than saying the wrong thing.

When i get news about Denver i am often quite and take time to talk about it but there is nothing like a family get together with extended family to get the news out there and the talk going about it at first i was like ahhh i don't know if i want to talk about it, but then it felt really nice to be with these people, they care and i could see their worry for us on their faces and feel it in their embrace so it was actually nice to be there and talking. Thanks Healey's.

Fast forward to today and we are in the ER with Denver attached to a drip and getting iv antibiotics. His infection slowing got bigger in size and just not nice and it started to get sore. It had never been sore before but he was complaining about it and just placing his hand over it. Then in the early hours of this morning it burst. Puss, blood crap oozing out every where. I put a bandage on it and keep a close eye on Denver and sent my sister a message with photos and we decided to see what it was like in the morning. Over night i changed the bandage again as there was so much stuff coming out, he slept well.

When i got up in the morning it looked the same just a bit redder and yukky so i decided Na off to the er this is stupid. So we are now here. We have seen Dr's plastic surgeons and so many nurses. So they cleaned it and it looked like a little crater and it was amazing to watch it quickly fill with puss again. (I love pus) We are here overnight on a drip and then to reassess tomorrow with what needs to be done, whether more anti's or surgery or what. So we wait. We are in good hands, my sister Katy is here playing with us. I will need another big rest after this again.

May this be over soon and may we all move on.