No more please

I have a traumatized sad boy on my hands. We have been home from hospital for 6 days and he is sad. He tells me how sad he is. he is constantly saying that his stitches hurt, he goes to show people them but he covers them with his hand. He is telling me he is not doing well and I don't know what to do or where to go. He is back in our bed. He is on antibiotics and he hates them, it is a fight four times a day when it is time to take them. We now have a routine we get it ready, he holds the medicine and hugs me with the other arm he swallows the medicine and then we get a chocolate to get rid of the taste. We go back tomorrow to the hospital, so they can look at the wound, tell us if they find a reason for the infection and maybe remove the stitches which is were there will be a problem. He had stitches removed once after his neuro surgery and he screamed and he hated it, it hurt. He has been talking ever since this last op about how he doesn't want to get the stitches out. I don't know what we will do, i don't think i have it in me to hold him down kicking, screaming, crying, fighting and saying mumma, mumma. I don't feel that i can do it this time, i feel i have held him down enough to get things done to him. I know he has to get them out but how? He has never been sad before and so scarred. It is different this time. He has three surgeries this year on his head plus the countless infections, i just wanna yell enough is enough. We are exhausted. The whole family is exhausted, we are done. And so are the people around us. They are all over it and so are we. Other people have the option of forgetting about it, but we don't. I am angry about cranio it is robbing us of other things in our life. I lose time with my other wonderful kids, i lose time with my husband, i lose sleep and energy, i have lost work as i cant go due to appointments/surgeries, we have lost that ease before cranio entered, we have lost a sense of knowing, lost our security, lost so much. How much more do we have to loose? There cant be that much more surely we have don't have much left our tanks are nearly empty.
 This last week I have had two reminders about why we do what we do for our kids with cranio. One little boy was rushed to intensive care fighting for his life as his pressure became to high in his brain, he was living minute by minute and fighting hard to survive.  He has now been down graded by is still fighting. Another child this week was also rushed to the intensive care fighting for their life due to cranio. Several children have also been taken back to surgery following their cranio surgery because of complications. We do this because our kids have a life threatening condition and we want and have to do every thing we can for them. It is scary. WE are fighting every day with our kids and we are exhausted. People forget that we are always fighting every day, whether its fighting to be heard by the Dr's, fighting to get our appointments, fighting to be understood, fighting the urge to break down and cry, fighting the urge to hide under a rock and take our kids with us, fighting to not hit that person that made fun at our child, fighting about money as having a sick kid sucks you dry, we are fighting to survive with our children, fighting for a normal life, fighting to hold it together. We fight to keep our families together through cranio. So i don't know what to do tomorrow. We will also be at the hospital on Friday for three wonderful hours of testing to see if his brain is working properly and if it has improved, do i want to know, not right now i don't but i don't have a choice for i am his mum and this is what i do. I fight for him.