i hate reminders

This morning i laid in bed thinking of all the things i hoped to do today. I then logged into face book to see how everyone was going and found out that one of our cranio kids had died. There is a huge support network for cranio parents on face book, we share the ups and the downs, the hopes and the fears, we understand each others anxiety and frustrations. But today we are sharing more than that we are sharing grief that one of our beautiful babies didn't survive cranio. Kaitlyn would have been two at the end of this month but she didn't make it. Her family have done everything they could they have been strong but now they have been crushed. I think all of us other cranio mums have gone into a bit of disbelief, we all know that this could be us, we could be the ones to have lost a child or may lose one to cranio. It is not a far thing to live with. Today i am flat, i have a deep sadness in my heart, i feel gutted, i feel hopeless, i feel lost. Even though this family and i have never meet in person we know each other, we all go through so much together.
I also have had moments of anger, why don't more Dr's know about cranio, why aren't parents listened to when they say something is wrong, why isn't there more support and understanding, why is cranio not talked about, for fuck sake it is one in two thousands births. Dr's and the public need to be better educated. One baby is too many to lose to this cranio.
A family now will have to go on without their baby girl and a support community will feel the sorrow along side of them and pray that we never have to feel their pain.
Rest now baby Kaitlyn.